An open book journey of Christopher William Klein
The year is coming to an end and we travel into the month of Halloween. So, here is some digital art to reflect the season.
Greetings: September was rough. But then again, September is always rough. It is my birth month and that leads to mental and emotional disarry. I handled it well this year, but I am glad it has passed...that is the old joke......
It feels like a baby boom is sweeping across the entire world right now. Just the other day, a young lady at work shared her exciting news: she's expecting! This has prompted several trips to the family planning case to collect pregnancy tests; a task that usually involves just one or two trips a day. However, recently, the demand has surged, and I find myself making these trips more frequently than ever.
Today was further complicated by an unexpected visit from our corporate leaders. They spent less than an hour in the store, and I'm left wondering how their visit went. We have an inventory check coming up, which adds an extra layer of stress, and the reason behind their visit remains a mystery to me.
To top it all off, our shift was hit hard by several call-outs, leaving us short-handed. Nevertheless, we pulled together and managed to keep everything running smoothly despite the challenges. On a brighter note, after clocking out from my time at Walmart, I had a surprisingly good experience with rideshare, which made the day feel like a success in the end.
The title of this section may sound more ominous than it actually is. The phrase "the floating comment" comes from a Stephen King novel about Pennywise the clown, who is actually a murderous spider from outer space. In my case, "floating" means simply getting through the day without any strong reactions, whether positive or negative. There hasn't been any great joy, but thankfully, I haven't experienced any horrific events either. I'm accepting things for what they are. Although I haven't made any progress on what I'm currently working on, I've decided to acknowledge that for now. At this moment, I'm just getting through until my next day off.
..I am a racist......
The day unfolded with a curious blend of chaos and monotony, a rhythm I had grown accustomed to during my time at Walmart. While my routine consisted of typical tasks, one particular encounter proved to be unexpectedly amusing. A family, who frequented our store roughly once a week; most often between Friday and Sunday; had become a familiar sight. Their visits typically lasted around an hour, during which they strolled through the aisles without any intent to make a purchase, turning their shopping experience into a leisurely outing.
Visually, the family presented quite an impression, akin to something out of a country fair, with their eclectic clothing choices and the old pickup truck they arrived in. It was a running inside joke among the staff that they might be engaging in theft, although we had yet to catch them in the act; a fact that gnawed at our collective curiosity.
Today, the antics took an unexpected turn. As I watched the family meander through the over-the-counter medication section, I noted one of the "young ladies" was, in fact, a boy. He was sporting a well-worn cap and oversized jeans, which could easily lead to the misconception. This boy was also carrying an unusually large bottle that jutted conspicuously from his pocket, drawing my attention and concern. The family had spent a significant amount of time scrutinizing various products on the shelves, particularly in the medication area, which only fueled our suspicions.
After about thirty minutes of observation, the staff decided it was prudent to involve security. We called for someone to intervene, hoping they would inquire about the large bottle. The patriarch of the group, a burly man with a scruffy beard, explained to the security team that the enormous container his "son" was toting was actually his diabetic medication. This revelation prompted a flurry of questions in my mind, though I quickly realized they had little relevance to the store's policies.
However, the situation took a swift and surprising twist: despite the fact that I didn't participate in the stop or even interact with the family, they turned their ire towards me, accusing me; albeit from a distance; of racial profiling and harboring a disdain for white people. Given my appearance and the distinct tone of my voice, I found their allegations both baffling and amusing. The absurdity of the moment momentarily left me speechless, before an involuntary laugh escaped me. It was a glaring reminder of the diverse array of personalities one encounters in retail, and as I continued my shift, I contemplated the colorful tapestry of humanity that had graced my days at Walmart.
With work and running the rideshare, I currently have little time for anything else. I float through my days, watch one episode of whatever series I'm into at the moment, and then go to sleep. I'm feeling my age and hoping that will change soon; I'm working on it.
On an interesting note, Willow submitted her resignation at Walmart today. She's planning to embrace a more free-spirited lifestyle for a while, and I think that's great for her. I hope she takes full advantage of this opportunity and enjoys herself. Some of the most interesting people I've met have been around my age and have had no idea what to do with their lives. I have a feeling that Willow will become one of those interesting individuals.
..and breathe......
Today proved to be quite challenging. We were understaffed on the front end, down two team members who couldn't make it to work. As if that weren't enough, a member of the custodial staff decided to act inappropriately while we were trying to manage the situation. With limited manpower, we worked diligently to maintain control of the front end, successfully managing our responsibilities until the very end of our shift.
However, just 10 minutes before we were set to clock out, disaster struck when a customer accidentally dropped a bottle of beer. At that critical moment, there was only one individual manning the front end, juggling eight registers while overwhelmed by a line of customers. Meanwhile, the custodial staff member was still on the clock but seemingly unwilling to assist during such a busy time.
I approached the custodial staff and kindly requested their help with the spill, thinking that teamwork would be beneficial. However, I was met with a dismissive response, indicating that since it was a "small spill," it was the responsibility of the front end staff to handle it. While I understand this perspective when we have a full crew, in this situation, with only one person managing the registers, it was unreasonable to expect them to also deal with a significant mess.
Feeling the pressure of the moment, I opted to address the spill myself rather than risk a safety hazard or further inconvenience for our customers. This decision resulted in me clocking an additional 15 minutes of overtime, which I didn't mind; I was more concerned about ensuring operations ran smoothly.
When asked about my actions, I reported the incident to the on-duty supervisor. Unfortunately, this did not sit well with them, and I could sense their displeasure. This encounter has now created some tension between the supervisor and me. I've reached my limit and am no longer willing to simply turn a blind eye to such issues. It's important for us to have a cohesive team where everyone fulfills their duties, especially during peak times.
I'm not sure where the extra time came from today, but I was able to take care of a few items on my personal to-do list. It wasn't a lot, but I can see how completing one or two tasks is a positive step in the grand scheme of things. I'm feeling quite tired and am looking forward to my upcoming time off, though I can't quite remember when that is. I suppose I should check on that. Nevertheless, I did spend some time revisiting a short story and my novel to see where I stand with those projects. While it may not seem significant, it feels meaningful to me.
I found my experience with Lyft to be quite interesting. While it wasn't a particularly memorable night overall, my last ride certainly stood out. I picked up three women who were heading to a video shoot for a niche genre known as party hardcore, which, for those unfamiliar, pertains to the adult film industry. Typically, they gather about half a dozen professional actresses willing to perform on camera, and then they fill a warehouse with extras.
Interestingly, the three young women tried to recruit me for their project, which was specifically aimed at the African American audience. They were looking for a "token white guy" to participate with the voluptuous Black actresses. I politely declined their offer. It's not that I have anything against pornography, the African American community, or the industry in general; I'm simply happily married, and that type of work isn't in line with my current personal values.
..what a funday......
Some days are busy, while others are mundane. Today was a mix of both. It's Sunday, and we were once again short-staffed by two people, but this time we managed the situation much better. There were a few minor incidents throughout the day, but overall, everything stayed in order. Simeon is working hard to prepare for the upcoming inventory, yet he still took the time to discuss some matters happening in the store with me. Due to the overtime I worked yesterday, I had to leave a bit early, but I took a rideshare and made a few extra dollars. Overall, we can consider today a positive workday.
I got out of bed a bit late, but I managed to get things moving and even made some meatballs for lunch. I'm craving bread and butter, which is quite unusual for me. Unfortunately, I didn't have time throughout the day to satisfy that craving. Maybe it will pass, or perhaps I'll bake some bread during my upcoming time off. I have quite a few tasks to accomplish during that time, but right now, I can't remember what they are.
..and not the greatest of moods......
Most of the day was spent watching the clock tick away the minutes. As we prepare for our annual inventory, tensions are running high. Everyone seems a bit on edge, and some members of management are falling behind in their duties, which is affecting the team. Additionally, many team members have taken a lackadaisical approach to their work. However, these issues are being addressed, and people are starting to understand that while consequences may not be immediate, they do eventually catch up with you. For some, this will be a rude awakening. I spent the entire day counting down the minutes until the end of my shift, and when I finally clocked out, I tried to use a rideshare service, but there were no available rides.
The underlying pain in my teeth has subsided slightly, but the issue still remains. My body is adjusting, though. I faced the day with a level of fatigue that was persistent, but not unusual. I managed to get up and start my day early enough to complete my entire list of tasks and still arrive at work on time. In the evening, I did some writing and took some time to relax before heading off to bed. I have the next couple of days off, and I am looking forward to them.
..day off number 1......
Today was exceptionally easy because it was my first day off. This meant I didn't have to engage in any work-related tasks if I didn't want to. However, since it was my first day off, I went ahead and took care of the bookkeeping for the week. I'm looking forward to having a relaxing day tomorrow with nothing on my agenda, aside from possibly doing some rideshare driving. While I would love to take another day off, I really need to meet my weekly goal.
Lately, my personal life has taken on a pace that feels busier than my work life. This morning, I woke earlier than I had anticipated, the light filtering softly through my windows, prompting me to seize the moment. I decided to utilize this unexpected free time to tackle the first item on my to-do list: catching up on tasks from the previous week. Upon diving into my agenda, I quickly discovered that many items were not as up to date as I had hoped. Unsurprisingly, there were a few loose ends that needed tying up, but I swiftly addressed them, erasing any lingering stress.
With my tasks finally in order, I glanced at the clock only to realize that I was still ahead of schedule. Feeling adventurous, I decided to head out to a couple of local thrift shops. My first stop was Goodwill, where I wandered the aisles, combing through racks of clothes and shelves filled with household items. Unfortunately, the store seemed to have been cleaned out recently, leaving only a few lackluster finds. Undeterred, I moved on to the Salvation Army, hopeful for better luck.
At the Salvation Army, I finally stumbled upon a minor treasure: a sleek leather jacket that fit me like a glove. I was baffled by the price tag; just $2.00; until I turned it around and saw the slogan emblazoned on the back. It was a MAGA jacket. I felt an ironic amusement at finding such a politically charged piece of clothing tucked away in a thrift shop, especially for such a steep discount. After a quick search through the rest of the storefront yielded little else of interest, I decided to head home with only a comfortable pair of exercise pants.
Once back at home, I aimed to take it easy, but my to-do list still beckoned. With a sense of accomplishment, I mowed both the front yard and a significant portion of the backyard using just a single battery, which I thought was impressive considering the size of the task. I still had a bit left to finish the next morning, but overall, I was satisfied with my productivity. I switched gears and used two batteries on the weed whacker, followed by some gardening in preparation for the upcoming year. Again, I wasn't completely finished, but I was making serious headway. I hoped to maintain this momentum the following day.
Next, I turned my attention to cleaning the pool and working on the deck. I had not originally planned to remove the outer board on the lower deck, but circumstances dictated otherwise. As I touched it, to my dismay, the nails had corroded so badly that the board simply collapsed under my hand. I couldn't help but think how precariously that board held the railing in place; had someone leaned against it, the consequences could have been dire. It struck me that perhaps the universe has a way of watching over both the foolish and the wise; though I remain uncertain about which category I fall into.
As the first week of October slipped away, I was hit with the looming reminder that November was just around the corner. That month carries heavy memories for me, primarily of Jennifer, who tragically passed away in November, leaving behind a legacy filled with deep regrets. I find myself clinging to our last conversation as if it were a lifeline; she spoke to me with such raw vulnerability, almost as if I were a priest to her confessions. The burdens she carried, particularly her secrets regarding Philip, weighed heavily on her heart, and she made me swear not to disclose them to him until after her passing. This promise has haunted me since, especially after he severed ties with me following her death.
I know the intricacies of Jennifer's life almost as intimately as I know my own. She never expressed regret for her years as a prostitute or for leaving home, but she did carry a profound regret about marrying Philip, despite the love she had for him. As she faced the dual challenges of cancer and menopause, her life underwent a seismic shift. Physical intimacy turned into a burden, pushing her into a reclusive state until she eventually withdrew completely. Fortunately, through therapy; both mental and physical; she began to reclaim her desire for connection, yet by that time, Philip had emotionally distanced himself from her. Their tumultuous 18 months were marred by growing resentment, stemming from issues that were trivial in the grand scheme of things. Neither of them could walk away easily; his deep-rooted Catholic beliefs forbade divorce, while Jennifer's views on handfasting complicated matters further. I felt trapped by my commitment to honor my promise to her.
Her story feels like a tragic narrative that could have sprung from the mind of a great wordsmith like William Shakespeare. Yet, it weighs heavily on my thoughts intermittently. There was a year when I shared a bed with her without crossing any boundaries, enveloped in a bond that was both platonic and profound. At times, I find myself longing for my friend, and at other moments, I wish for her to suffer in the afterlife in hell; a pair of conflicting emotions that strangely balance each other out.
I should point out that I am comfortable sharing the details of Jennifer's life at this point because she told me that I could as long as I waited at least two years after her death. It has been a lot longer than that. She told me that if I wanted to I could write a book about her life and I am considering that. A Midget prostitute they just wanted to be loved and the unlikely husband.
..or not to relax......
One of these days, I'm going to take a full day off and actually enjoy the time away from work. The only work-related task I completed today was going through my calendar to confirm my six-month anniversary at Walmart, which is next month on the 14th. I also reviewed my ride share history from the past couple of months, looking at different days of the week. I checked the heat map periodically throughout the day, and unfortunately, it showed that business was quite slow. I'm hoping for a turnaround tomorrow so I can get back on track. I had a really good week followed by an okay one, and now I'm in week three, hoping the pendulum swings back to a great week. I considered going out this evening, but even when I checked around 8:00 PM, there were no opportunities available.
Pushing through the day unfolded just as I had anticipated, leaving me without room for disappointment. As the sun broke through the morning haze, I eagerly hopped onto the productivity train, determined to tackle the transformation of my outdoor space. I embraced the task of grooming the lawn, meticulously trimming and edging until every blade of grass was in its rightful place. As for the garden, I made significant strides, having successfully uprooted the stubborn grass that had taken residence there. Although I haven't yet wielded the tiller, it stands ready for the next phase of my gardening endeavor.
I had intended to spruce up the end of the deck today, but alas, I found myself running out of steam before I could begin. Resigned to my fatigue, I retreated indoors, initially tempted to sink into the comfort of inactivity. However, I made a more worthwhile choice that I would soon appreciate.
In the kitchen, I whipped up a batch of sweet chili-style chicken wings, filling the air with a tantalizing aroma. As they sizzled and cooked, I turned my attention to my collection of shoes. It may seem peculiar, but a few pairs had become bothersome over time, pinching and rubbing in all the wrong places. I sat down, sorting through each pair with care, scrutinizing their fit while strolling about the house. Yes, it might appear a bit eccentric to be prancing around in high heels indoors, but who cares? It was my afternoon, after all.
Later on, as the day began to wind down, Laura and I seized the opportunity to engage in a thoughtful conversation. We covered a range of topics; auto insurance, cell phones, work, and life itself. While we didn't stumble upon any concrete solutions, our discussion felt meaningful, and I was confident that clarity would eventually emerge. I took on the responsibility of addressing cell phones and insurance matters on my next day off, a task I would tackle with renewed energy.
As evening settled in, I craved relaxation and decided to indulge in an old movie. To my surprise, what I stumbled upon turned out to be an indie film. Although I had watched independent films before, I never truly grasped their essence. Out of curiosity, I researched indie films, and thanks to the irreverent humor of "South Park," I had unwittingly associated them with a very specific, and humorous, stereotype involving gay cowboys and absurd dialogues about pudding.
I soon realized that my newfound interest lay in the broader realm of independent cinema, rather than the narrow stereotypes I had playfully absorbed.
In our culture, it seems we've been conditioned to expect predictable narratives from our entertainment. The archetypal hero always wins the girl, triumphs in every challenge, and the plot unfolds with polished symbolism, often devoid of meaningful exchanges between characters.
However, the random film I chose to watch, "The Vast of Night," was a refreshing departure from the norm. Made in 2020 but set in the intriguing backdrop of the 1950s, it followed the story of a radio operator and a curious 16-year-old telephone operator who hears an unsettling sound that disrupts their mundane reality. Unlike the formulaic films I'm used to, this one was rich in dialogue, with characters communicating rapidly and in a rhythm that felt out of sync with conventional storytelling. The film's unique visual style, oscillating between color and black-and-white, gave it an intriguing depth that captivated me despite its apparent imperfections. I found myself wanting more, intrigued to seek out other indie films to explore this new world of cinema.
..No, really.......
The title of this paragraph alludes to a rather dark humor about a hamster stuck on a wheel; a poignant metaphor for the day's events, as the wheel keeps spinning regardless of the hamster's unfortunate fate. This imagery resonates with me, especially today, as we face some significant changes in our team dynamics. One of our most dedicated, but flighty employees has decided to bid farewell to pursue a new opportunity with the IRS, which is bittersweet. Their departure means losing not just a skilled worker but also a reliable team player whose contributions have always been invaluable.
On another note, I can't help but notice the demeanor of our newer employees, who seem to float around the store like whimsical fairies, seemingly untouched by the seriousness of the situations at hand. Their carefree attitude stands in stark contrast to the responsibilities we are currently juggling, making it feel a bit surreal.
To compound our challenges, I recently received the unsettling news that our entire management team will be out of the store for a couple of days due to various reasons; some are undergoing surgery, while others have commitments that take them out of town. This situation is particularly worrisome, as it occurs just days before our crucial inventory check scheduled for next Monday. The timing couldn't be worse, as we will be without leadership during an essential period for our operations.
As if that weren't enough, another layer of chaos unfolded when one of my less-favorite coworkers instigated a conflict with another employee. This disruptive incident escalated quickly and disrupted the overall workplace atmosphere. To make matters worse, an individual who seems to overestimate their authority took it upon themselves to physically engage with a customer during this altercation. This type of behavior is unacceptable and likely to stir up complicating issues as we move forward. Thankfully, I find myself in the fortunate position of being just an observer in this turmoil. I must say, I prefer it that way, as it allows me to maintain my focus and sanity during these chaotic times.
From a personal perspective, the next few days are going to be quite dry. I'm currently on a six-day work schedule, and I'm pushing my rideshare activities to the limits, leaving little time for personal projects and goals. It's going to take everything I have just to keep up with my daily routine, but I'm determined to do my best.
Today marked the beginning of this busy period, and I managed to earn almost $50 from ridesharing in the evening. That's a solid start, and now I need to maintain that pace for the next six days. Will I be able to do it? I have no idea, but I'm going to give it my all. Although I still have a significant list of things to accomplish, those tasks may need to wait until next week.
..Sarcasm? Nah.......
This week, the focus is on tension. Although we had a full staff, many people were standing around doing nothing. It seems that some have figured out how to find the right spots where they can chat for hours without anyone saying anything. It's quite frustrating. The store is preparing for inventory on Monday, which has put a lot of people on edge.
I received a new vest, so I'm now identifiable as asset protection. I'm no longer incognito, and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing; sometimes, I enjoyed the anonymity. I had a productive conversation with the boss about recent issues, and I'm proud that I presented the information calmly and factually. Now, it's up to him to act on it. Everyone in management has mentioned that changes are coming right after inventory, and I'm curious to see what those changes will be.
Today has been a whirlwind of emotions and physical discomfort. My teeth are throbbing, and a dull ache has nestled itself in my temples. Last night was particularly restless; I tossed and turned through a series of unsettling dreams that left me feeling drained. Still, I woke up determined to turn the day around and find some positivity.
However, my resolve quickly wavered when I learned that my daughter had a troubling experience at Walmart. My heart sank as I contemplated the ethics at play within the company. It baffles me that there are circumstances where employees are instructed to remain silent. It's a principle of healthy business conduct that open communication should reign; suppressing voices only casts a shadow over intentions and portrays the company in a negative light. The more one is told to keep quiet, the more they're likely to feel compelled to speak up.
I'm trying to navigate this tangled web without getting too involved, hoping things will smooth out as she prepares to leave that job behind and discover what new paths await her. It's hard to watch her struggle, as her pain reverberates through me, igniting a fierce desire to lash out at the circumstances that brought her such distress. Unfortunately, the added stress isn't doing my headache or toothache any favors; instead, it only compounds my discomfort.
On a brighter note, I'm thrilled to report that I am just two pairs of boots away from completing my shoe project! I've meticulously tried on each pair to ensure they still fit comfortably; any that don't will be lovingly donated to a local charity, giving them a second chance. It's amusing to realize how a passion for shoes has grown within me; definitely not something I anticipated adding to my life's list of interests!
Later in the evening, I took to the road as a rideshare driver and was pleasantly surprised to earn over $70. That felt like a significant boost to my spirits. If I can keep up that momentum, it would be a wonderful addition to my day-to-day routine.
..almost.......
The air is thick with anticipation and a hint of anxiety as the word "inventory" echoes in the minds of everyone in the store. With only two days left until the big day, a sense of urgency looms over our operations. Although we're managing to keep things afloat, it's clear there's plenty of room for improvement. My day was filled with navigating an array of small yet frantic crises that arose throughout the store. While I'm not directly tasked with the inventory, my role is to support my colleagues and help ease some of the mounting pressure they face during this hectic period.
The most significant event of the day unfolded with a sudden jolt of chaos when a customer brazenly pushed a cart full of groceries out through the back door. We stood helpless, our eyes fixed on the thief as they made their way down the parking lot. However, due to Walmart's strict policy on theft, we are unable to pursue or intervene. I swallowed my frustration; adherence to the rules is non-negotiable.
Later in the evening, I ventured into a completely different realm while driving for rideshare. What had started as an uneventful night quickly took a turn for the worse when I encountered a scam artist lurking in the shadows. A man had ordered a ride for a woman, and just as we were pulling up to her apartment, he had the audacity to cancel it. In most situations, I would have chosen the honorable path and dropped her off anyway, but that night, my patience was thin. I decided to take a different route, literally and figuratively, and accelerated instead. I couldn't help but glance in the rearview mirror, capturing the look of bewilderment on her face as we sped away. My destination: the local police station, five miles away.
Upon our arrival, I quickly explained the situation to the officer stationed outside. I assertively pointed out that both she and her boyfriend were, effectively, guilty of theft of services. As the reality of the situation sank in, I noticed her demeanor shift from indifference to distress, especially when she realized she didn't have a cellphone to call for help.
Leaving her in the capable hands of the officers, I resumed my evening drive. Reflecting on the series of events, I concluded it hadn't been a great night, yet it wasn't entirely dreadful either. I suppose some nights are just meant to be a mix of chaos and resolution, and for that, I'll take it.
It might be nothing significant, or it could carry heavy implications; I honestly find myself uncertain. As I face troubling incidents, like the unsettling encounter with the criminal who aggressively pushed a cart or the brazen couple attempting to cheat me out of services during a Lyft ride, my mind spirals into a deeply unsettling place. This mental descent might be fueled by my recent struggles with writing; it's been my refuge and a powerful form of expression. Yet, I find myself grappling with thoughts that I wish would not intrude. While I am steadfast in my belief that I would never act upon them, the mere presence of these troubling thoughts is profoundly unsettling, and I sense that they are morphing and intensifying.
To regain some semblance of control, I realize I need to immerse myself in meditation, a practice that often anchors me amid mental turbulence. But for now, let's shift our focus to a lighter topic games. It's common knowledge that mobile phones are brimming with games, yet a realization struck me recently: there appear to be only about seven fundamental game models that most of these creations draw upon. Don't misunderstand me; I appreciate the vast array of games available, but they largely seem to spring from the same seven templates, albeit adorned with varying visual aesthetics. I downloaded three games in quick succession and, to my dismay, they felt almost indistinguishable from one another, each featuring similar layouts for their playing fields.
Is there truly no room left for unique ideas in this landscape? I've observed this burgeoning trend not only in gaming but also in movies, television series, and even music; where has all the originality gone? I'm sure this thought will resurface for me, but for now, it's a thought-provoking topic worthy of contemplation.
...but will it only come to pass?.......
Tomorrow marks the day before our much-anticipated inventory, and there's an unmistakable tension hanging in the air. The store has been bustling with an influx of asset protection personnel, including Josh, the head of our region, whose authoritative presence looms large. He is accompanied by several investigators from neighboring stores, all converging on our location to oversee the meticulous stock count. From what I've observed so far, they seem to have completed about 80% of the inventory, methodically working their way through the aisles. I can only hope that tomorrow they'll wrap up the final details swiftly, allowing us to return to a semblance of normalcy.
However, a significant challenge looms over us; our staff shortage during the evening shifts. For the past few nights, I've left the store at 10:00 PM with a heavy heart, knowing that the closing manager is left alone to juggle responsibilities that are typically shared amongst a team. This predicament has been exacerbated by one of our employees consistently clocking out early, which, though not my place to challenge, I can't help but monitor with concern. With inventory day looming on the horizon, I cling to the hope that once this task is complete, we can finally move forward toward smoother and more productive operations.
The reference to the waterfall encapsulates my current emotional state; it often feels as if I'm swimming upstream against a powerful current. While I can see that some things are gradually coming together, the pace is maddeningly slow, which only adds to my frustration. It's not just that progress is being made; it's the agonizing realization that it's happening at an almost glacial pace. I'm in a constant state of fatigue, and even during my time off, I find it challenging to completely recharge. Establishing a routine that feels sustainable and satisfactory has been a struggle. The delicate balance between work commitments, personal responsibilities, and maintaining my mental well-being is proving to be more daunting than I anticipated. Nevertheless, I have faith that I will find my way through this turmoil, eventually.
Today, my primary focus remained on work. In just two days, I'll finally have a break, which I'm eagerly looking forward to. I accomplished my Lyft goal for the week, and that achievement feels noteworthy to me. I genuinely mean that, especially since I managed to finish it up on a Sunday night; something that's quite uncommon for me.
Yesterday was particularly troubling due to several alarming incidents in Memphis. An accident in Hickory Hill, not far from my store, tragically claimed the lives of four individuals. As I was nearing the end of my shift, a shooting occurred just a mile away, prompting a massive response from law enforcement. It was a surreal experience, witnessing the entire police force converge on the scene. Adding to the chaos of the day, President Trump was visiting Mississippi, making outrageous and false claims at an astonishing rate, reportedly around eight lies per minute. He specifically targeted Jerri Green, a gubernatorial candidate, but in doing so, he made a critical blunder. Jerri responded with a well-crafted video, countering his assertions point by point. It seems that the fog of misinformation is finally starting to lift for some people, as they begin to recognize his true character; a revelation that has taken nearly a decade for many to arrive at.
I'm left questioning why he continues to campaign, especially since he is not actually on the ballot. It feels like he's attempting to bolster support for his chosen candidate, Marsha Blackburn, in her race for governor. The entire political landscape feels exhausting, and every day I find myself wishing for a resolution to this turbulent situation. I don't harbor any ill will toward anyone, but there are moments when I just want this all to come to an end.
...and now it has passed.......
I arrived at work and immediately got to work. There wasn't much to do initially because we were in the middle of inventory, and that was wrapped up about an hour after I arrived. Overall, I'm not very confident in the accuracy of the inventory. Once it was completed, I asked Kelly if she wanted me to remove the tags from the inventory professionals. She agreed, so I took it upon myself to remove all the tags throughout the entire store. However, I noticed that there were large sections without any inventory tags, especially in high-value areas like diapers. I also found several items that didn't seem to match what was recorded. While I can't quite explain it, I decided it wasn't my problem, so I chose to take a back seat and relax. After the inventory was finished, the managerial staff dispersed, leaving us to manage on our own. Overall, the rest of the day was calm.
I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling today. I felt a bit rushed this morning, but I managed to get the shock in the pool before heading out to work. Throughout the day, I found myself kind of floating along without focus. While that's okay occasionally, I hope it doesn't become a persistent issue.
After tomorrow, I'll have two days off, and I have a lot to accomplish during that time. This evening, I noticed that two of my tail lights are out, and I need to fix those, which is frustrating. I also want to stop by Goodwill, and Laura and I have plans to go see "Practical Magic 2." For now, I just need to push through the rest of tonight and get through tomorrow.
...the unstoppable KAREN.......
I was fully prepared for what I thought would be a long day, considering it was my last day of work before a two-day break. For the most part, that expectation was accurate. However, I didn't anticipate being extremely short-staffed or having to deal with a very unruly customer.
The lines were a bit long, and she waited nearly five minutes before she decided to leave her spot in line, where she was next, and come over to get serviced at a closed register. I explained that I was only able to assist spark drivers at that register, and she lost her composure completely. For almost 20 minutes, she screamed at the top of her lungs, using profanity and making threats, refusing to understand why we couldn't just open more registers when we didn't have enough staff to operate them. Ironically, she works for Costco, so she should be well aware of staffing issues.
By the end of the interaction, I was a tense ball of nerves, but I'm proud of myself for maintaining my composure and not reacting as I wanted to. She gave me plenty of opportunities to lose my cool. In contrast, our security guard did not handle the situation well; he responded to her insults and profanity in kind, matching her outburst throughout most of the encounter. If she had simply stayed in line, she would have been finished 20 minutes sooner.
After work, I tried to start a rideshare, but it was a complete desert; there were no available rides. I waited for 45 minutes before deciding to give up for the night.
Despite the challenges I faced today, a wave of optimism washes over me as I anticipate the two days off ahead. The negative interaction I experienced occurred toward the end of my shift, just as the work cycle was concluding, which gives me a chance to recharge and regroup. I have a substantial list of tasks waiting for me during these upcoming days, and while I'm uncertain about how much I will actually accomplish, I'm resolute in my intention to give it my best shot and take things step by step.
Recently, my mornings have felt a bit sluggish, as I've only managed to tackle the most basic of tasks. It's been tough to carve out time for exercise or meditation amidst the bustle of my day-to-day life. I truly hope to establish a more balanced routine that includes both physical activity and mental clarity as I move forward.
After a long day at work, I attempted to order a rideshare but was unsuccessful, so I made my way home on foot. Once I settled in, I turned on the television and watched the finale of the Foundation series. While I don't have a clear memory of reading Isaac Asimov's iconic works in my youth, the television adaptation offers its own unique narrative. Even so, it didn't quite resonate with the essence of Asimov that I had expected.
...some days are good.......
The easiest part of working on a day off is that my only responsibility is to check my status and plan for the week ahead. This week is a bit unusual because I return to work on Friday, and then I have Saturday off again. It will definitely disrupt my schedule, but I'm determined to make it work.
I didn't sleep well last night and woke up feeling quite rough around the edges, but I was determined to own the day. As soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning, I hit the ground running. I dove right into catching up on various journals, letting the caffeine from my first cup of coffee fuel my focus. In addition to that, I worked on my blog, crafting a few posts that had been lingering in my mind. My teeth were in quite a bit of pain, but it seemed manageable for the moment. Nevertheless, I made a mental note to schedule an appointment with the dentist soon; however, I decided that was a problem for another day.
Once I was sufficiently awake, I hopped into the car and made my way to AutoZone to pick up some tail lights for the Kia. After grabbing what I needed, I topped off the gas tank, feeling accomplished with each errand I completed. Next, I headed to the Salvation Army, but unfortunately, I left feeling disappointed; nothing really piqued my interest there. I then decided to check out Goodwill. When I entered the store, I was struck by how sparse the shelves were; it felt like buzzards had picked everything clean. However, as I wandered around, I noticed the bin store nearby and decided to check it out as a last-minute afterthought. To my surprise, I stumbled upon a stylish set of pleather pants. I wasn't entirely sure they would fit, but at under a dollar, I figured it was worth taking a chance. When I got home and tried them on, I was thrilled to discover they fit like a glove!
Since I had the house all to myself, I thought it would be a good time to experiment a bit with fashion. I have two pairs of extremely high-heeled boots that I find quite difficult to walk in. I slipped into my new pleather pants and paired them with the first pair of boots, then spent the next two hours wandering around my house, tackling little chores here and there. Afterward, I swapped out the first pair for my second set of equally towering boots and repeated the process. I knew I'd probably pay for my little fashion show with leg cramps later on, but at least I was getting more confident in walking in them.
The highlight of the day occurred when a group of canvassers for Marsha Blackburn knocked on my door while I was still in my red go-go boots. I answered the door just as I was, and the look on their faces was priceless; they seemed utterly speechless at my unexpected appearance and promptly turned around to leave. I couldn't help but chuckle at their reaction.
After the excitement of the canvassers subsided, it was time to focus back on my tasks for the day. My real score happened at Goodwill, where I found an actual set of AirPods in one of the bargain bins. What's more, they worked! I eagerly charged them, figured out how to reset and pair them with my devices, and even took the time to clean them with some alcohol to ensure they were in tip-top shape.
Next on the agenda was fixing the car. Earlier during my errands, I had dropped off the recycling for my wife, which meant I needed to empty out the boxes that were cluttering the trunk. To my dismay, I discovered that the hydraulic lifts for the trunk had broken. I recalled pricing them at AutoZone, and it looked like I'd need to replace them for about $20 each, but that's a task I could put off for a little longer. On a brighter note, I managed to swap out the broken brake light without any hiccups; those little victories always make my day.
Feeling accomplished after the car repairs, I turned my attention to the deck. To my surprise, it turned out to be much easier to fix than I expected. I got the outer edge strapped in place, which is a significant step, and now I just need to pick up the right screws to finish the job. I was pleasantly surprised by how smoothly it all went.
With the outdoor tasks mostly behind me, I focused on the pool. It took quite a bit of time, but I managed to remove a substantial amount of leaves, and I felt pleased with the result. I still need to run the vacuum over it to give it a thorough clean, but for now, it's holding its own.
Once everything outside was in order, I headed back inside to tackle some indoor projects. I searched for my ceramic heater, anticipating the colder weather to come, and then I spent some time working on organizing my cubby. I also took a moment to clean my air fryer, which had been neglected for far too long. Additionally, I went through the stack of magazines that had accumulated over time and tidied up the desks I use regularly. Throughout most of this, I wore my headphones, drowning out the ambient noise while rocking out to Evanescence and other similar artists, which made the tasks all the more enjoyable.
As twilight approached, it was time to unwind. I settled in to watch some random sitcoms while simultaneously downloading assets for Daz 3D, organizing my downloads from the week, and sorting through my reading material and writing projects. Even if tomorrow doesn't yield as much productivity, I felt that today was a significant and enriching experience all on its own.
...way down.......
I planned my meals for the rest of the week, and since there's only one day left, it was quite simple. I did my best to relax and not think about work at all, but confronting what lies ahead will be challenging. We'll lack management for the next couple of days, and I'm curious to see if we'll rise to the occasion or get overwhelmed. It should be an interesting journey.
Today marks my second consecutive day off, and reflecting on yesterday, I feel a sense of accomplishment wash over me. I decided that today would be dedicated to treating myself, allowing the hours to unfold leisurely as I focused on relaxation and self-care.
One of the most significant tasks I undertook was setting up a new AT&T account; a process that spanned about an hour. I coordinated all the details over the phone, and they're scheduled to come for installation on Saturday. I hold high hopes that the cost will be considerably lower while the quality of service is much improved; here's to hoping the hype lives up to its promise. This will surely be a test over time.
After that, I drifted into the realm of cerebral indulgence. I spent the day sifting through my Facebook reels, letting go of the clutter that had accumulated in my feed. I also explored enticing recipes that sparked my imagination and dove into the 46 untold stories that had been sitting in my mind. Revisiting those narratives reignited the flames of creativity within me, and I can only hope this burst of inspiration proves to be lasting rather than a fleeting spark.
In between, I took a moment to pamper myself. My nails, in all their previous glory, had been stripped of their pocks and craters, eagerly awaiting a fresh set of tips. I toyed with the idea of applying new ones tomorrow morning but hesitated, uncertain if I would be in the mood for that additional effort.
During the day, Laura and I engaged in a thoughtful discussion about the current state of affairs. While we didn't arrive at any concrete conclusions, we sensed a potential path forward. Our conversation even led us back to contemplating our past ideas about relocating to Colorado. Considering the water system, the political climate, and employment statistics in Trinidad, it's clear we may have dodged a bullet by not moving there, as the town seems to be slowly declining. It's fascinating how life twists and turns, isn't it?
There are fleeting moments when I find myself regretting the decision to leave the road behind, but those instances are few and far between. If I could just stabilize my situation and begin making tangible progress, I have faith that I could navigate through the challenges ahead. I hold onto hope that in a month's time, my circumstances will take a turn for the better; but I'm also bracing myself for the possibility that things may remain unchanged. My mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, and all I really crave right now is some deep relaxation.
In pursuit of that serenity, I found solace in returning to "American Horror Story." I recently wrapped up the unsettling season titled "Freak Show," which left me both intrigued and haunted, and now I'm ready to dive into the next chapter; entitled "Hotel." After finishing "Foundation," I was at a bit of a loss for what to watch next, but I feel that immersing myself in the world of "American Horror Story" will provide the perfect blend of entertainment and escape.
...way down.......
I started my workday feeling well-rested, and I'm very grateful for that. However, as soon as I arrived, I sensed that something was off. The manager on duty was working the front end alone, with no one else in sight. Multiple staff call-outs had resulted in a shortage, and she was trying to manage everything by herself. While she was doing a commendable job, that's not how a business should operate. Nonetheless, we pushed through the day.
At exactly 3:00 PM, that manager left, and the night manager took over. We gained a few more staff members at that time, which helped us regain control of the situation. Then, an incident occurred. This is something that has been happening intermittently and needs to be addressed: we had a shoplifter. It involved only a couple of dollars' worth of cheese and a salad, but the asset protection investigator chose to manhandle the suspect. This should never happen. Our current policy clearly states that we do not touch customers. If we do, it can open us up to a lawsuit for physical assault. Thankfully, that concern didn't escalate this time, but it needs to be addressed moving forward.
The suspect in question had just been released from jail five days earlier, and the asset protection investigator decided to let them go without consequences, which again goes against company policy. However, that was their choice.
Once all of that was resolved and it was time to leave, I opted for ridesharing for a couple of hours, but the demand was very low. It seems that the market has taken a downturn, and I hope it's just a temporary slump.
Today was mostly uneventful on the personal side of life. I did some cleaning in the office and prepared for my day off tomorrow. I only get one day off before I have to work for four days straight again, followed by another single day off. I'm still dealing with pain in my teeth, which I need to address. However, tomorrow is a day to relax, and I have a feeling I'll end up just sitting around all day.
...give me more.......
I really dislike it when my days off are broken up, leaving me with several consecutive workdays followed by just one day off. This schedule doesn't give me enough time to regain my balance and get into a productive rhythm. Today at work, I spent time reviewing various issues at Walmart, and I'm not feeling optimistic about the situation. I hope that as management starts to return from their different assignments, we can get things back on track.
Today was meant to be productive, filled with important tasks, yet I found myself falling short of expectations. The sun was shining, but I didn't take the opportunity to tackle cleaning the pool or securing the deck. Despite this, I did manage to resolve some lingering issues with AT&T. With a sense of accomplishment, I oversaw the installation of our new internet service, which seemingly operates smoothly. Now, the next step is transferring everything over so we can say goodbye to our old account; a task that looms on my to-do list.
On a more personal note, I'm still grappling with tooth pain; it gnaws at me, reminding me that I need to schedule an appointment next week to devise a treatment plan. There's a mountain of dental work ahead that I know will strain my finances, which are already tight.
As I glanced at the rideshare heatmap, my spirit sank further; it painted a dismal picture of the market. Even though I've moved on from my role at Uber, I still have access to their heatmap, and it confirmed the absence of job opportunities on that platform as well.
Feeling mentally drained and not quite myself, I succumbed to the lure of nostalgia and decided to indulge in a marathon of three Christmas movies. Whether it improved my mood or simply provided a welcome distraction, I can't say for certain, but it certainly didn't make things worse. On a brighter note, while I was wrapped up in cinematic cheer, the ladies ventured out this morning to explore yard sales and visit a local craft fair. Willow came back carrying a treasure; a vintage book from 1907 entitled "Revival Praises."
What many may not realize is the intriguing history of music within the Baptist Church, particularly at the dawn of the 1900s. Before the significant rewrite of the Holy Bible by the Catholic Church in 1921, there was an infiltration of pagan influences that subtly altered the church's hymnals. It wasn't necessarily the lyrics that transformed but rather the melodies themselves. Delving into the pages of this book, I hope to uncover the remnants of those original pagan songs, turning it into a new and captivating project for myself.
To cap off the day and maybe uplift my spirits, I decided to pamper myself with a fresh manicure, opting for a long, flat-tipped French style. The results were delightful; my nails turned out beautifully, adding a small touch of elegance to my day.
...for good or bad.......
I returned to work after my solitary day off, and, predictably, I found myself stepping into a whirlwind of chaos. This time, the store was staffed with plenty of workers, yet they seemed to be trapped in small clusters around the floor, engaged in aimless conversations that revolved around topics of no significance. Management, as usual, was nowhere to be seen, taking no action to rectify the disorganization. Despite the numerous tasks that were piling up in the store, productivity was at a standstill.
On my previous working day, the manager on duty and I had made a concerted effort to pull many of the storage crates from the back row to make room for new stock. However, I was dismayed to discover that, despite my day off, not a single one of those crates had been opened or addressed. Taking it upon myself to rectify the situation, I decided to dive in and opened the crates one by one, systematically spreading out every product that could be displayed on the sales floor. Once the accessible items were out, I returned the remaining stock to the back room and was confronted with an overwhelming pile of back stock that seemed to take over the space. While I wasn't particularly familiar with the inventory management program in use, I dedicated time to teach myself how to navigate it effectively. Through this effort, I uncovered at least two dozen additional items that could be showcased on the sales floor. I promptly relayed this information to someone in the back, urging them to take action. Whether they will do anything about it remains a mystery.
It was undeniably a frustrating day, and as management is set to return to the store in the coming week, I can only hope that order will be restored. Over the past six months since I joined the team, we have made remarkable strides, but it feels as though we are now regressing. Throughout the day, I found myself making numerous trips back and forth between the front end and the locked display cases, assisting customers who were struggling to synchronize their phones with the electric locks.
Additionally, I couldn't help but observe a disturbing trend: some employees were spending hours lounging in the break room, which is a situation that really needs to be addressed. Yet, I recognize that it's not my role to tackle this problem directly. I have a nagging suspicion that if any disciplinary measures are implemented, they will be excessively harsh. Unfortunately, my position within the company limits my ability to effect meaningful change.
Furthermore, I have noticed a disconcerting lack of communication skills among certain members of management. When employees attempt to engage with them directly, these managers frequently disregard the conversation, diverting their attention to side chats with others; often about trivial, personal matters. This is not an effective management practice by any means. And when managers find themselves alone, they often seem to vanish into their own world, engaging in activities that appear entirely unrelated to their responsibilities. This lack of professionalism extends beyond management; there are countless employees who spend their shifts engrossed in their phones, watching videos, dancing to music, and otherwise behaving inappropriately. These issues are clearly detrimental to our store's environment and need to be addressed.
After clocking out and leaving the chaos behind, I turned on the rideshare app, only to be met with a desolate landscape. The market seems to be oversaturated with drivers, and coupled with declining consumer outings due to financial strain, it's clear that the demand simply isn't there. I've witnessed several restaurants closing their doors permanently, and a majority of clubs around the city have either ceased operations or significantly reduced their hours. The overall landscape is worrying and speaks volumes about the current state of the economy and how it's impacting our community.
I'm in a mood today and tried to improve it with an extra nap this morning and an exfoliating shower. While it didn't really help, it also didn't hurt. I'm dealing with persistent tooth pain and will have to break down and schedule a dental appointment for this week.
I managed to get through my morning tasks and made it to work just on time. However, I ran into an issue with my car; one of my tires is low on air. I stopped at five different places, both on the way to work and during the day, to inflate it, but it seems like someone has gone through and removed all the air dispensers.
After work, I even considered taking a rideshare option with the low tire, but there were no rides available. Willow moved the air compressor to the living room, so I can take care of that in the morning. I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week, but I'm doing my best to manage.
...You have to know the movie.......
My frustration simmers as I push through the sliding doors of the store, immediately engulfed by the frenetic energy that characterizes an unexpectedly hectic Monday. The self-checkout area resembles a scene from a war zone, with attendants busily sorting through the tattered remains of our already depleted supply of reusable bags. I scan the expansive aisles, searching every nook and cranny for anything that might alleviate the mounting pressure, but my efforts yield nothing.
Then, a spark of rebellion ignites within me, a flicker of hope as I recall a storage area we've been explicitly instructed to avoid. Fueled by determination, I navigate the aisles with purpose, and to my astonishment, I uncover four boxes of bags nestled away like buried treasure.
With a sense of urgency, I take the first box, my hands moving quickly and deliberately as I distribute the bags to my coworkers. I implore them to be judicious, to make these precious supplies last and avoid overfilling them. However, my heart sinks when I see the unfocused expressions on their faces; it dawns on me that they may not fully grasp the gravity of the situation. That lone box carries us through four grueling hours, yet I can feel the inevitable depletion creeping closer as I finally slip away for my lunch break.
In a moment of reckless oversight, I decide to conceal the remaining three boxes, hoping to keep them out of reach from overzealous hands. But my hiding spot turns out to be anything but secure. When I return from my brief respite, I'm struck by the sight that greets me; the three boxes lay in disarray, their contents devoured like a feast laid out for ravenous sharks. A surge of anger wells up inside me, yet alongside it comes an unsettling sense of indifference. There are times when one must simply let go, and perhaps today marks one of those pivotal moments.
This overwhelming chaos reflects the disordered state of the store itself. I suddenly realize I haven't seen Simeon in over a week. His absence is disconcerting; no one has mentioned him, and no one has notified anyone of a vacation or absence. The mystery of his whereabouts lingers like a shadow in the back of my mind. Yet, amid this swirling tumult, the relentless rhythm of customers continues undeterred. The atmosphere feels thick with activity; each register is a whirlwind of motion, a testament to an extraordinary day where we've eclipsed our previous record to hit a remarkable 121% of what we accomplished just a year ago.
The morning seemed to slip away in a blur, and I nearly overlooked an important task: adding air to my tires. I could only imagine the trouble that oversight might have caused throughout my day. My primary concern had been the nagging fear of discovering a nail lodged in one of the tires, but thankfully, a quick inspection revealed that all four were merely a bit deflated, likely a consequence of the recent temperature fluctuations.
With urgency fueling my movements, I dove straight into my workday. Presently, my mind is clouded with worries about my teeth; one in particular has transformed into a persistent irritant, causing discomfort that even the most effective painkillers can't fully alleviate. I've made an appointment with Aspen Dental for Thursday, a necessary step that fills me with a sense of dread. The thought of enduring a dental visit isn't something I anticipate fondly, yet I recognize that I can't carry on in this state. My mood has taken a noticeable dip, and while I can't pinpoint the cause, I understand that it demands my attention. I'm aware that allowing negative thoughts to linger can lead to equally negative actions, and it's imperative that I turn this pattern around.
I'm clinging to the hope that the source of my mental disarray is intertwined with the physical pain radiating from my teeth. Resolving that issue might just lift the fog clouding my mind. For the past couple of weeks, I've struggled to meditate or engage in exercise, which has undoubtedly contributed to my mounting irritability. I yearn to regain a sense of balance in my life, and I'm convinced that tackling my dental problems will be the first crucial step toward achieving that goal.
Later, I ventured out for some rideshare work on this Monday night, which is typically known for its slow pace. To my surprise, I managed to earn about $45; an unexpected small victory that left me feeling pleasantly optimistic. I can only hope to maintain this momentum as the week unfolds.
Once home, I indulged in my customary dinner of steaming ramen noodles, their comforting warmth a welcome end to the day. I sunk into my chair, ready to immerse myself in the latest episode of "American Horror Story: Hotel." The show is captivating, and I can't help but appreciate the enigmatic presence of Lady Gaga; she truly deserves our respect for her talents!
...Not sure if that is good or bad.......
Today was about as ordinary as it gets in the current workplace environment. My coworkers were a bit annoying, mostly because they were just standing around. There's a saying: "If there is time to lean, there is time to clean," and it seems some people haven't learned this yet. The manager on duty kept disappearing at the slightest excuse, claiming she was doing her training. The issue is, I know how much training she had and how long it should take, and five hours is definitely not the answer. All things considered, I'll still count it as a decent day.
I am definitely in need of some time off, but unfortunately, that's not going to happen this week. I only have one day off, but it's already filled with things I need to do. I have to go to the dentist to determine what's wrong with my teeth and address that from there.
...non-stop all day.......
When I arrived at work this morning, I expected a calm day. I was in for a surprise. I completed my usual rounds and settled in, only to be asked to take care of the plants out front. Half of them were dead, and the other half were dying. We decided it was best to get rid of all of them since they were taking too much time and energy to maintain.
While I was moving the plants to the back, I noticed two women behind one of the electrical devices near the back of the store. Based on their appearance and the smell, it was clear they were under the influence of something. They immediately began making all sorts of offers to me in exchange for not calling the police. I didn't call the police myself, but I did contact security, and they called the authorities.
What a way to start the day! After that incident, I spoke with Kelly about the condition of the front-end registers. They've been a mess since I started working at this Walmart, and the monthly cleanings had been neglected. I agreed to take charge of them.
It turned out to be a much larger project than I had anticipated. Once I started digging into the situation, I realized just how messy they were. It took the better part of 3.5 hours to clean four registers, but they are now spotless, leaving just eight more to go.
During my shift, Simeon took on his managerial role and conducted some terminations. The only one I felt any sympathy for was Odalis. She is young and energetic, but she tends to wander off and socialize instead of focusing on her work. With time, she could have become a valuable employee, but for now, the opposite was true.
The day ended with a medical emergency involving one of the overnight stock workers. He developed a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. I handed him over to Simeon and wrapped up my night.
My teeth hurt enough but before work, most of my time was spent in meditation trying to push that pain out of my mind. After work, I ran rideshare for about two hours to the tune of another $30. All things considered, this was a decent day and I get tomorrow off.
...all takes too much time.......
Today, work was the easiest part of my day since I didn't have much to do. All I needed to do was review the past couple of days and set up the schedule for the next few days. I'm on track for the week to meet my rideshare goal. I'm also trying my best not to dwell on what might happen at Walmart in the next 30 days as I approach my anniversary there.
I jumped out of bed right on time and headed to the dentist for a two-hour visit. As expected, my teeth were in pretty bad shape, and there was a lot of work needed. Three years ago, during my last evaluation, the estimate for treatment was about $70,000. Naturally, I can't justify spending the price of a house on dental work. This time, however, the same organization quoted me a significantly reduced amount of $18,000, thanks to new technology. It's still a substantial expense, but it's closer to being manageable.
They addressed my primary concern, which was the daily pain. I received a medicated treatment and they prescribed some medication to help me for the time being, but I know I'll have to take more permanent action eventually.
After my dentist appointment, I returned home to tackle my to-do list. First up was cleaning the pool, but not before I enjoyed a cup of coffee and breakfast. It took about an hour and a half to remove most of the leaves from the bottom of the pool, but I still need to run the vacuum. I'm planning to close the pool for the season next week, so at least I've started that project.
Next, I worked on the deck and completely removed the outer board. It's now ready to be put back on, sanded down, and the project can progress from there.
After that, I had to deal with insurance. I spent nearly three hours navigating the Walmart benefits site, but I managed to set everything up for the start of the year, so we'll be fully insured. Following that, I worked on my auto insurance. I think I've made a decision, but I want to give it some time to settle in my mind.
With those tasks behind me, I still had several big things to complete, but I was feeling tired of thinking for the day. I enjoyed a double helping of chili with a bratwurst while I watched Star Trek. Being able to eat again is a positive thing, and I'm going to count this as a good day. There's plenty more I could have accomplished, but I'm satisfied with what I finished.
...But not a duck (ya know, an odd duck - HA).......
Work has been a bit overwhelming lately, and I found myself addressing several pressing issues that had arisen in the store. One of the most significant challenges was with the registers, which had accumulated dirt and grime over time. I decided it was necessary to bring this up to Kelly, our store manager. To my surprise, she was receptive to my concerns and encouraged me to take charge of the cleaning project. I quickly realized this would be a substantial undertaking.
The scope of the project was daunting; each of the twelve registers required a deep clean, and I estimated it would take about an hour for each one. Determined to make a difference, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work. By the end of the day, I had managed to clean four of the registers, and the results were impressive. They sparkled and looked brand new, which gave me a sense of accomplishment. While I scrubbed away, I was also able to keep an eye out for any issues that might arise at the registers, something I found to be both beneficial and time-efficient. However, the task was tedious and time-consuming, so I decided that tomorrow, I would bring my own tools to help speed up the cleaning process for the remaining registers.
Shifting gears, I had quite an eventful rideshare experience last night. As I activated the app, the first ride request that popped up caught my attention; a $469 fare for a journey that had been waiting for over half an hour and was only half a mile from my location. The distance was minimal, but the long duration of the trip, six hours, struck me as both intriguing and risky. I mentally calculated the time commitment, which would eat up a total of twelve hours when factoring in both the trip and my usual workday. After some contemplation, I decided to accept the ride, planning to use some of my paid time off (PTO) this morning to offset the loss of earnings from my job.
As I made my way to the pick-up point, I received an unexpected message from the rider. She requested that I meet her behind a house, which immediately raised my instincts. I approached cautiously, aware of the potential dangers, and as I turned the corner, I spotted a girl who was poorly dressed and seemed suspicious. She came over the back fence, clad in a thin, flimsy shirt and short shorts that left little to the imagination.
When she finally got into the car, I got a closer look at her and felt a wave of concern wash over me. I decided to ask for her identification, just to be safe. Lying for her security, I informed her that it was standard procedure for rides longer than three hours. Her reaction was immediate; she seemed to back off from the request. As I suspected, she was only sixteen years old. Recognizing the seriousness of the situation, I politely but firmly asked her to exit the vehicle, then proceeded to report the incident through the app. I was painfully aware of how transporting a minor across state lines could lead to severe legal ramifications, even for a rideshare driver.
The young girl visibly shifted from despair to anger as she began to cry, pleading with me for help. She claimed she had been waiting for over three hours, expressing frustration that both Uber and Lyft had denied her rides. Unfortunately, I couldn't fully engage with her plea as it became increasingly clear she didn't grasp the seriousness of her situation. She shifted from tears to defiance and even anger, and eventually tried to make offers that suggested she was desperate to get to her destination. Despite the temptation of the fare and the potential financial gain, I knew that accepting this ride could have serious consequences. Ultimately, I managed to convince her to exit the car, and as I drove away, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The money would have been nice, but in the end, I understood that protecting myself and making the right choice was far more valuable.
I managed to get some extra sleep and I was bright eyed and bushy tailed for the day, but it was one hell of a day. I'm starting to plan my next days off which are still 3 days away, and there is a lot to do. But that is a story for another time.
...What is normal?.......
Today was much easier compared to yesterday. I started my day with my usual rounds and got everything set up, with only one task remaining: taking care of the last register. I enlisted the help of one of the front-end staff, and we quickly tackled that. I also briefly discussed the upcoming police Halloween event. Since I have the day off, I plan to dress up and come to the store. Simeon is in charge of the event, and he might have me hand out candy in full costume.
Once the register was done, I thought the rest of the day would be smooth sailing. However, I noticed that a lot of candy needed to be shelved, which can be a bit tedious. I felt accomplished until the manager on duty pointed out that there was another entire cart of candy without a designated place. This Top Stock cart has been moved around the store multiple times, and it really needs to be addressed by someone higher up than me.
As the day was winding down and I was preparing to leave, we had to deal with a shoplifter. Thankfully, the API took the lead on this incident because I don't have the authority to write reports due to my position. I gathered the stolen items and ran the training receipt, and then it was all in someone else's hands. I managed to leave with only a few minutes to spare.
The most important thing right now is preparing for my upcoming time off. I need to close the pool and get the runner on the deck, and I also have to call and arrange for new car insurance. Additionally, I need to plan a costume for the upcoming police community trunk or treat event at the store, and there are several things I need to take care of around the house.
For entertainment, I've been watching *American Horror Story: Hotel*, and the season is reaching its climax. When I discovered that Lady Gaga was in this season, I wasn't sure what to expect regarding her acting abilities, but she has impressed me. I'm currently at a cliffhanger where two characters jump in with guns drawn. I'm not sure if she will survive the attack, but given that it's Lady Gaga, she seems almost immortal! We shall see.
After work, I drove for a ride-share service and ended up giving a ride to six party girls in my little Kia, transporting them from one club to another. It was amusing, and I managed to surpass my goal for the week. Just two more days until my time off, and I'm eager to see how that goes!
...annoyance.......
Today was one of those days where time seemed to have slowed to a crawl, and it felt as though everyone around me was caught in some sort of inertia. I mean this quite literally; people moved as if there were an unseen force restraining them. The atmosphere in the store was palpable, with customers shuffling about aimlessly while our staff appeared to be in a haze of disinterest. We had more than enough employees present for the day, but those stationed on the front lines seemed to disregard the pressing needs of the customers entirely. When they did choose to address inquiries or concerns, it was through loud shouts across the expanse of the store, rendering their instructions not just inconvenient but almost impossible to follow. My irritation flared with each moment of this chaotic scene.
In the midst of this disarray, I found myself one of the few individuals managing the safety alerts, a responsibility that grew increasingly frustrating as the day progressed. Upon returning from what should have been a rejuvenating lunch break, I was greeted by the sight of 15 alerts waiting while half a dozen employees were idly sitting around, engaged in conversations that seemed to carry no urgency. It was beyond annoying. While I acknowledge that my mood might factor into my perception, I genuinely believe my frustration has roots in the day's events rather than just my personal grievances.
To add to the day's challenges, we found ourselves out of bags; something that has become an unfortunate norm rather than an exception. After what felt like an eternity, we finally received a new shipment from another store. However, the moment the fresh supply arrived, one of the cashiers hastily grabbed half of the bags for themselves, leaving the rest of us with mere scraps that were hardly sufficient. This could have easily been managed had management chosen to take charge and set up a fair distribution, but they failed to act, leaving us to fend for ourselves.
These issues have been persistent, and I feel like I'm caught in a dilemma. I grapple with the decision to either voice my concerns about the ongoing problems or to remain silent in the hope that things might improve on their own. Speaking up could risk labeling me as a complainer or a malcontent, and yet, staying quiet might allow the situation to deteriorate further. Honestly, I sometimes grow weary of the responsibilities that come with adulthood and wonder if voicing my thoughts would make any difference at all.
I'm not sure what it is about today, but I feel like I'm falling behind on everything. Since these are self-imposed tasks, can I really say I'm behind? I've drifted away from my daily meditation, exercise, yoga, and Tai Chi routines. I'm weeks behind in my writing and days behind in my reading. I haven't touched my Spanish or programming in over a week. It's a strange feeling, like I'm floating, but I'm not quite sure what I'm floating on.
I desperately need a reset, but I can't seem to figure out how to achieve that. It's frustrating. I have my lists, but they feel mundane and uninspiring. With two days off coming up, I have a lot to accomplish, including maintaining the pool, working on the deck, sorting out insurance, and a few other tasks, but it all feels overwhelming.
I want to do something special for the Memphis Police Department's community outreach on Wednesday, but even that isn't bringing me the joy it should. I miss working on the haunted house, but my schedule wouldn't allow for it this year. I realize I'm in a rut, and I'm unsure how to get out of it. I've studied enough psychology to know I'm not depressed; just on the fringes of it. If I can get back on track, I won't have any issues, but right now, I can't even see the track.
I know this sounds negative, but it's really just self-awareness. While I'm on the edge of a negative mood, I'm not ready to dive deep into it. The next month is pivotal. Will work come through with the changes they've hinted at? Can I align the rideshare to make it more beneficial? What will the elections in a week bring? Some of these concerns are beyond my control, while others are within my reach.
I think it's time to reassess my goals and lower my personal standards. I set my bar high with the understanding that I wouldn't meet every aspect of it. However, I may have miscalculated by mixing some achievable goals with those that are just fantasies. I guess it's time to start working on my 2027 goal list, ensuring a good mix of achievable and ambitious goals. After all, you should always shoot for the moon because if you miss, you may still land among the stars.
...but not in a bad way.......
People are moody. The store was a bit chaotic today, and things just didn't fall into place. We ran out of bags, and most customers were grumpy. I had to deal with several thieves throughout the day. It felt like a test of patience, and while I managed to get through it, it was challenging. After work, there were no rideshare options available, so I ended up just coming home.
I hope Kate Bush doesn't take offense, but I find myself feeling like I'm truly "running up that hill" today. It's an evocative expression that captures my current state of mind. However, as much as I might resonate with the song's themes, I'm not quite ready to strike a deal with God at this moment in my life. For those who might not be familiar with the song, this might sound a bit cryptic, but don't worry; stranger things have happened, right? Speaking of which, if you're not in the loop about the series "Stranger Things," you might be missing out on some of the cultural context behind that statement.
The melody of "Running Up That Hill" has been circling in my head, mostly because it played a significant role in "Stranger Things." I can't help but approach my daily experiences through that lens, even if it means making connections that might not be there at all. It's interesting how music can shape our perception of our surroundings. Today, however, I find that I'm using this song as a distraction from what feels like a rather monotonous day on a personal level, which is a stark contrast to the frustrations I faced at work.
Despite the mundanity of my day, I'm eagerly anticipating my next two days off. They represent a welcome break, and I'm truly looking forward to spending that time doing something enjoyable or simply unwinding.
...or something like that.......
One of the best things about today is that I don't have to work. A quick check of the bookkeeping for the week, and I was finished for the day.
Nothing ever unfolds quite as expected, and today serves as a vivid testament to that truth. I leapt into the day with boundless energy, feeling like a warrior prepared to conquer the world. Little did I know, I was metaphorically standing stark naked in an enchanting field of vibrant daisies while the rest of the world donned impenetrable armor, brandishing colossal swords. Okay, perhaps that's a tad embellished; the mental image of the daisies was simply more delightful than the notion of bleak poppies. Come on, share a laugh with me!
The morning commenced on a high note, as I navigated through my routine seamlessly. With a sense of accomplishment, I wrapped things up just in time to hit the road and fulfill my civic duty; casting my vote. That endeavor proved to be an adventure in its own right. I found myself in line alongside a group of about a dozen elderly folks animatedly discussing the merits of His Majesty and his purported efforts to rescue the United States. I clamped down on my tongue, nearly biting it raw, but I'm quite proud of my resolve to stay completely out of their spirited conversation.
After leaving the voting booth, I made a brief stop at Goodwill and the Salvation Army, merely to browse. There's a wealth of wisdom to be gleaned from thrift shops. For instance, I learned that our local bowling alley recently changed ownership. Curious about the story behind it, I looked up details and discovered the previous owners had floundered in their attempts to revive it after five long years. Now, the new proprietors are grappling with the same challenges. Despite being open on prime nights like Friday and Saturday, the lanes remain eerily empty. If anyone does show up, they flock to a more modern and lively venue that has become the main attraction.
What caught my attention during my rummaging was the unexpected sight of seven bowling balls at Goodwill and another six at the Salvation Army; something I had never noticed before. They were tantalizingly priced: single balls for just $5 and well-crafted double sets available for $10, complete with a carry case. Admittedly, I have no current interest in bowling, but it was fascinating to stumble upon this curious assortment.
In the end, my treasure hunt yielded no finds at Goodwill or the Salvation Army; just a handful of cute clothing pieces that ultimately didn't pique my interest. One pair of boots, however, could only be labeled as stripper boots. They fit me flawlessly, but I'm not quite that daring. They were daringly designed, featuring provocative cutouts along the thighs that formed silhouettes resembling people in rather compromising positions. Since sliding into pole dancing classes isn't in my future, I opted to pass.
Once I returned home, I faced the daunting task of tackling my extensive to-do list. The first order of business was closing the pool for the season. I spent an exhausting hour scooping leaves, but to my dismay, I discovered the vacuum had not been charged. How frustrating! Unfazed, I shifted gears and dialed up my insurance company. Armed with a well-ordered list of five prospective companies ranked by my preference, I quickly ran into the reality of bait-and-switch tactics. Promising me a mere $67 a month online, the first three companies suddenly jacked that figure up to an outrageous $350 as soon as I began the application process. I was understandably irked, but after much persistence, I finally struck gold with the fourth company. Just when I thought I was almost finished setting up my account, the zip codes database crashed, necessitating yet another phone call; sigh!
After what felt like an uphill battle, I managed to set everything straight with our insurance, ultimately slashing our monthly payment by almost $200, if not slightly less. Riding high on my momentum with phone calls, I then decided to ring Xfinity to cancel that account. They pulled out all the stops in their attempts to retain me, but ultimately, it was a no-go. My final call took me to GEICO, where I canceled that policy too. And just like that, we were back to normal; whatever that might mean in today's world.
These phone escapades consumed nearly four hours of my day. I never returned to the pool, but I did indulge in a frozen pizza while settling in for a movie, all while setting my sights on the promise of tomorrow. However, the day had more surprises in store. I received a message from Emily, my ultra-conservative friend in Indiana, who was eager to introduce me to her boyfriend. I told myself it would be merely a 15-minute chat before I drifted off to dreamland, but deep down, I recognized that was far from realistic.
Arthur seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Like me, he stands on the liberal side of the spectrum and has bravely taken on the challenge of navigating a relationship with Emily. Bless his heart! The conversation flowed between Memphis, Indiana, and California, stretching over three hours and diving into the complexities of our current political landscape. I'm accustomed to these discussions with Emily, but experiencing it as a silent observer was utterly fascinating. It was wildly entertaining! I adore her to pieces, but goodness, she does seem a bit bewildered at times.
...and a pool......
It was my day off, but I decided to go into work anyway. However, I didn't go in to protect assets; I went in to be an asset. I dressed in my gothic attire, complete with wings, claws, a top hat, and my saxophone. My intention was to play a bit, but unfortunately, I snapped my reed. That's okay, though; my presence made a lasting impression.
It was the annual trunk-or-treat event, and we had about a dozen employees running it, along with a fire truck and three firemen. People seemed to have a lot of fun. I was somewhat surprised by how many wanted to take pictures with me. It's not like I was portraying a famous character; I was just interesting in my own way.
Overall, it was an easy day at work. I could have lasted longer if I hadn't been wearing my gray boots, but that's something I need to work on. I did better this time than the last time I wore them, so it's a sign of progress. I suppose I should make a note to wear my special shoes occasionally. But that's a problem for another time.
The mutant baby is alive and well; at least his arm is! I am referring, of course, to my list of things to do. My main goal for the day was to close the pool, and thanks to Willow and Laura, that task is now complete. I vacuumed everything and got the pool nice and clean while Laura inflated the pillow for the water. Once that was done, it was simply a matter of putting the tarp in place, which we managed to do quickly.
Unfortunately, between closing the pool and getting ready to go to work in costume, that consumed the entire day. By the time I returned from the work event, I was exhausted and just wanted to sit down; and that's exactly what I did. I'm trying to come up with a game plan for what I want to accomplish, but it's proving to be quite challenging right now.
Interestingly, while dressed in full costume, I noticed the reactions from my peers and even strangers, which triggered a memory from my youth. I used to work in a bar with live music where I collaborated with a band that wasn't famous yet. They often tried to encourage me to get on stage, offering to teach me and lend me their "weapons of war," as they called their instruments. However, I could never bring myself to step into the spotlight. Now that I'm older, I don't mind being in the spotlight as much, and that's something I should reflect on.
...in a circle......
I understand that things can get frustrating, but I'm excited to tackle the challenges we're facing! First off, I've noticed that two team members have been heavily engaged on their phones during customer service hours. While I appreciate their dedication, it seems that their focus is elsewhere. If they were just taking a quick call now and then, that would be fine, but it's like their headphones are a permanent fixture! One of them has even started using speakerphone, which can be quite distracting for both customers and teammates. I also noticed that she's stepped away from the front line for about an hour and a half today, chatting away by the pharmacy. It's a bit concerning since we want to ensure everyone provides excellent service.
I've brought this to the attention of the asset protection investigator because I believe it reflects a potential misuse of time. There's also been a little hiccup with the manager on duty, who decided to service the registers around 9 PM. This caused a situation for customers wanting to pay with cash or get cash back, which can affect their experience. Maybe there's a better time for that kind of procedure that could minimize disruption?
Despite these small bumps in the road, the team managed to finish the night strong, bringing in about $60 from rideshare! I'm optimistic that with a little more focus and communication, we can enhance our service even further. Let's keep the positive energy going!
What track am I looking for? The track to be on, of course. I'm talking about getting back on track, and that's what I'm attempting to do right now. Instead of handling things like a hurricane, I'm approaching it more like Chinese water torture; one little drop at a time.
Today, I went through my extensive reading list and chose a single book to focus on. In addition, I have one writing project that I'm currently working on. I had some extra time this morning and identified the problem with my computer, which, of course, is the Internet. The new service works perfectly everywhere in the house except in my area. This means I'll either need to use a repeater or run a hard line. I'm not sure which option I'll choose yet, but this issue is making any writing tasks that require voice dictation take four or five times as long, which defeats the purpose of using dictation.
On a more personal note, I took a close look at my face; something I rarely do without just passing it off as a routine task. I concentrated on it and noticed the fine lines and cracks beginning to form. I find this somewhat disturbing, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.
When I got home, I started watching the new season of American Horror Story, and I'm uncertain how I feel about it yet. This season, called Roanoke, is written in a documentary style.
...the calm before the storm?......
When moments drift into ease, I often find myself at a crossroads of uncertainty. It poses a curious question; are things finally settling down, or is the universe merely granting me a fleeting respite before the next tempest rolls in? Today felt distinctly like one of those paradoxical days. Surprisingly, there was just a single attempt at theft, which is nothing short of remarkable, and remarkably, no one seemed belligerent or even mildly irritable.
The flow of the day unfolded smoothly; we didn't exhaust our supply of bags, nor did we deplete our stock of carts, and perhaps most heartening of all, everyone kept their patience intact. When I reflect on it all, yes, it was undeniably a tiring day; though the fatigue stemmed more from monotony than chaos.
After clocking out from Walmart, I transitioned to driving for Lyft. My night was brief yet bountiful, completing just two rides, but they turned out to be quite lucrative. The first passenger was a jovial, tipsy gentleman making his way between clubs, laughter spilling from him like the contents of an overturned drink. The second ride was even more colorful; my passenger was a self-proclaimed "slut," as indicated by her bold necklace emblazoned with the word in letters nearly three inches high.
As we approached her destination, the vibrant atmosphere was undeniable, with half-naked women twirling and dancing on the balcony above, reinforcing her candid description. In that moment, the lively scene was a testament to her unapologetic nature. All in all, I'm chalking today up as a win; simple yet satisfying, a day worth treasuring in its own right.
This morning presented its own set of challenges as I found myself racing against time, struggling to fit everything into the limited hours of my day. Despite the mounting pressure, I managed to navigate through the murky waters of urgency. Yet, each day feels like an uphill climb, and I can't shake the sensation that I'm facing a barrage of frustrations from all directions. While I know that the best-laid plans of mice and men often pave the way to a bright future, my own aspirations seem to be leading me further into a rut, overshadowed by doubt and uncertainty.
However, I firmly believe that the key to sidestepping a trap is recognizing it before I fall in, and I can distinctly see this one approaching. What I crave is a small victory, a single triumph that could serve as a stepping stone toward greater success. I'm not envisioning a perfect life with a stable financial future, 2.5 kids, and a white picket fence; instead, I yearn for the ability to organize my life and perhaps even to curtail my reliance on metaphors. I'm acutely aware of my tendency to do this, yet I find myself slipping into that habit regardless.
The crux of the matter is that I feel as though I'm under siege from every angle, unable to grasp any one issue tightly enough to regain control. I recognize that my distractions and lack of focus could be contributing to this feeling, but every attempt I've made to break free from that cycle has fallen short.
On a brighter note, I recently completed the process of rewriting my first short story, a piece that I originally penned back in the 1980s or even earlier. Now that I'm in the final stages of proofreading, I hope that finishing this project will not only improve my mood but also unleash a wave of creativity that's been stifled for too long. Now, I just need to find someone willing to proofread it for me. It's about 20 pages long, and I'd greatly appreciate any volunteers!
...Ooo, spooky......
I am, of course, referring to Kate Bush and her song "Running Up That Hill." That's how it feels right now. No matter how much forward momentum I create, I always feel three steps behind everything else. People seem to float through their positions, and without constant oversight, they tend to congregate and do nothing. Nobody takes the initiative. It feels like living in a world of automatons who only act exactly as they're told, and they will only do so if they're being watched.
I spent a good part of the day running back and forth to the locked cases to unlock them because no one else's phone is working properly. This is a problem. We have someone at the front end who can't log in, which is another issue. We're being overwhelmed with stock in the form of candy, and the front end is pushing out too much of it. This is yet another problem. All that candy is on a Top Stock cart because we don't have enough storage space in the back.
That's enough of the issues for now. None of this is new; it has been going on for a long time, but it remains unaddressed. I'm not in a position to make changes, but that doesn't mean I will always be out of position. I write these concerns down to remember them.
After leaving Walmart, it was raining and cold, and everyone wanted a ride. The heat map for rideshare services was showing well over 100% in most areas, so I decided to drive. I completed only three rides, but the rates were excellent. However, the roads were treacherous; there were nearly a dozen accidents along the 240 loop, and the flooding caused a lot of hydroplaning. I logged off just before midnight and headed home because I didn't feel safe driving in those conditions.
I have just one more day to go. I started the day feeling frustrated because I was having trouble with my voice software and getting pages to load. The new internet connection is great, but my computers are in a poor location within the house. I need to run a hardwire connection, but I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do it. I hooked up the secondary router and connected to it, which resolved about half of the issues, so that will work for now. However, it was a very frustrating way to start the morning.
I managed to push through my to-do list and got the month of November set up. I'm about to close out October in my legend journal, so things are running smoothly at the moment. I have two days off coming up, and I have a date with my wife to watch a movie and enjoy some pizza; my idea of a perfect mini-getaway!
I also need to get an oil change, go for a doctor's check-up, and return some equipment to Xfinity. There's a lot on my plate. I need to clean the pool filter and give the Kia a good wash too. I should really fix the hydraulics on the rear tailgate, but I'm reluctant to spend the money or the time. It's one of those tasks I know I need to do, but I keep putting it off.
When I got off work, the heat map looked quite barren at first, but then it suddenly lit up, and I received a couple of rides at high rates. My mood is low and my frustration is high, but I'm dealing with it. I'm doing my best to choose my battles wisely before they overwhelm me, even though I can't see all of them yet.